Twilight The Book:
BELLA: Edward?
EDWARD: Yes my sweetly frosted cupcake?
BELLA: I think you are a vampire.
EDWARD: What ever gives you that idea, my delicious sausage mcmuffin?
BELLA: The Indian werewolves tell ancient stories of their sworn enemies, The Cold Ones. Or maybe that was from Underworld. Anyway, you’re a vampire.
EDWARD: You’re right, my tasty bacon burger. I am dangerous and may kill you any second.
BELLA: I don’t care, I love you.
EDWARD: Seriously, my lamb chop with mint jelly. Right now I’m considering eating your liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
BELLA: Not listening as I’m so dazzled by your mussy just out of bed spiky used a whole bottle of gel hair. Kiss me now!
EDWARD: As you wish, my spicy quesadilla.
BELLA: Whoa, Edward! Why do you get so hard and stiff every time we kiss?
EDWARD: Um. It’s just a vampire thing. Say did I mention we’re playing baseball later? I’m totally thinking about baseball right now.
Twilight The Movie:
BELLA: I am surly. And you are a vampire.
EDWARD: Yes my fava bacon gives you idea?
BELLA: Was that even english? What the hell are you talking about?
EDWARD: Sorry. Instead of writing original dialogue for the screenplay, they took it straight from the book and condensed it into fractured incoherent conversations my baseball later?
BELLA: I don’t care. I’m surly and I love you. Kiss me and get it over with already.
EDWARD: Ok, I’ll just think of Zac Efron. Oh that’s not helping!
BELLA: God I’m surly. Let’s go find some kittens and stomp on them.
EDWARD: Wow. I thought Lohan was a be-atch but you make her look like Hannah Montana.
BELLA: Shut up and hand me my cigarettes. And what’s with that stupid hair?
And they all lived happily ever after.