Yes, I am one of 13 million people handing out awards for SuperBowl Commercials, but it beats reading yet another story about my cats, right?

The Disturbing Imagery Award: Cash4Gold’s Heeere’s Money

Ed McMahon says an emotional goodbye to his golden toilet. Dwell on that.

The Most Culturally Insensitive Award: CareerBuilder.Com’s Tips

Before filming this commercial someone should have asked what Australians mean when the say they’re going to “punch the koala”.

The Sexiest Sexy Award: No one.

Sorry Go Daddy, but if PETA’s Vegetarians Have Better Sex had been allowed to air, it would have made your models look like Martha Stewart and the Golden Girls.

The Let’s Drive This Once Great Franchise Even Further Into The Ground Award: Transformers 2 Trailer

I look forward to more phenomenal special effects, explosions, and complete lack of plot/character development.

The Mafioso Award: Denny’s Thugs

Denny’s - Try Our Dishes or Sleep With The Fishes

The Funniest Award: Budweiser’s Talking Lizards

I love those guys.

The Duh Award: Bridgestone’s Hot Item

As two astronauts do donuts with their dune buggy on Mars, small print at the bottom advises “Do not attempt.”

The We Blew Our Entire Advertising Budget Just To Get In The SuperBowl Award: Vizeo’s Take A Look

That printed text must have cost hundreds to film.

The Most Honest Plantlife Award: Telaflora’s Talking Flowers

You have to respect a rose who calls it like he sees it.

The Creepiest WTF Award: Cheetos’ Chester the Cheetah

Chester’s “Give Daddy a kiss.” did not make me hungry for Cheetos but it did make me want to take a shower.

The Blurriest Movie Trailer Award: Monsters vs Aliens

Why didn’t someone tell me I’d need 3D glasses? It’s not my fault I live in a cave.

And finally…

The Coveted Most Swedish Award: Bud Light’s Swedish

If Conan O’Brien in bunny ears doesn’t make the world a better place, I don’t know what does.<-->