Ethel’s is one of our mandatory stops upon arriving in the Windy City. I was intrigued by the Mudslide Mocha. The girl behind the counter warned me that it was a “true” mudslide using only only melted chocolate and two shots of espresso. She asked if I wanted to cut it with milk, but her tone indicating doing so would reveal a complete lack of testicles on my part. I told her to bring it on!
She handed my a tiny styrofoam cup which felt empty. I was going to complain they forgot the drink but tipped it back into my mouth to be sure. A slow barely liquid glop of chocolate poured down my mouth. It was simultaneously the most tasty and disgusting thing I have ever had.
I chewed down the rest of my coffee and then washed it down with the remainder of my girlfriend’s iced mocha. At this point the 2.5 shots of espresso caused my heart to explode. I didn’t really notice though, as my entire circulatory system had been replaced by brown sludge, slowly moving through me like molasses in a tree.
I now bleed chocolate.
