I was having some breakfast before I had to go to work this morning when Ryan walked through the door. It’s rare that he is conscious at 7:30am so I asked him if his day was just beginning or just ending. He slowly crawled up the stairs. Ah it’s ending I see. One whiff of his breath was enough to set the room spinning. I have seen him at several different stages of messed up, but we may have a winner.
I couldn’t be too hard on him though, given the
I swear to god I am not making this up. Some of it’s funny, some of it’s actually sad, but above all else it’s the honest truth.
Yesterday morning Ryan was trying to sleep off a night of coping via beer for the loss of his boat and truck in one day. He was rudely awakened by his phone ringing. His friend Andrea left him a voicemail asking him for someone’s phone number. He ignored it and went back to sleep. An hour later she called back again. He hung up on her. An hour later she called again. He angrily opened up his phone told her the phone number and hung up on her. Three hours later she called again. More awake now and wondering what the hell was going on, he finally spoke to her. Andrea was sobbing. “Ryan” she said, “my sister died.”
Andrea’s sister was on a waiting list for a heart transplant. Ryan had told me about her little while back saying at best the 26 year old girl had twenty years left. Sadly it turned out to be about twenty hours. Last night she went in to receive a catheter in her heart, but was too weak to survive the procedure.
So somebody died after all.
Day 2 of Ryan’s curse was off to a great start. When I came home from work I was stunned to find one our DJ subs sitting out in the driveway. In the rain. I jumped out of the car to rescue it and was quite confused to find Ryan just standing in the garage not doing anything. He saw I was unable to grasp the situation and said “Oh I am already up to $14,000 in damage here.”
We have an inclined driveway and a storm drain that easily plugs with debris. The night before the wrath of God had swept through (I spent 4:30 to 6am listening to the house shake), and as a result the garage flooded. Ryan had been using it for storage while he did house renovations, so his big screen TV, the DJ speakers and other random audio equipment he had collected was all soaked.
At this point I was in awe and starting to fear for my own safety. If his aura of bad luck is contagious, then it’s time to get the hell out of Dodge. He may have finally coughed up the trinket though.
He bitched to his insurance agent about what a pain in the ass it was to make a claim and he didn’t even want to make the claim because of all the headache and bullshit that went with it. “Why?” his agent asked, “Ryan you do realize everything damaged gets replaced brand new right?”
We had a riot throwing stereo equipment in puddles…whoops did I type that? I mean, damn those floods are destructive.
Still I think Ryan should lock himself in cabin out in the woods just be sure. He’d still get eaten by a bear or something but at least everyone else would be safe.