Ryan is cursed. You know the episode of the Brady Bunch where they are in Hawaii and find a ancient trinket, only to be besieged with one mishap after another? Ryan swallowed that trinket. Sure everyone has bad luck and experienced that feeling of “every time I start to get ahead, something knocks me back down.”,
Yesterday he came home looking like he had spent the last hour taking punches to the gut. “I had a bad day.” he said. At this point I was worried that someone died. He knows everyone and everyone’s cousins, aunts and uncles too, so as statistical probability dictates, he spends far too much time at the funeral home. Once two complete strangers smashed each other into oblivion in a drunk driving accident - Ryan was close friends with both families and had to double duty on the mourning circuit. That was a bad week.
Fortunately no one died this time. Not a person anyway. I asked “What happened?” He said “I just did about 22 5 in damage to my boat.” I said “Wait, you mean $22,500??” Yep. Out in the bay is a buoy that should be blinking but isn’t and should be on GPS but isn’t, so the boat’s fiberglass and engine should be in one piece but aren’t. Were it not for the boat’s second engine, it would now be a new apartment for the local trout.
The good news is insurance will pay for all but the first $1000. Still that’s $1000 he doesn’t really have in his pocket now. More disappointing to him is this happens any and all times he gets a new vehicle. Without fail, he will get it tricked out just the way he wants it and then disaster will strike. There are no exceptions to this rule.
After his tale of woe he left to take out some aggression on the golf course. When he came back a couple hours later, I asked him if he was doing any better. He said “Oh yeah. Much better. Played better than I normally do, had a good time, took a nice relaxing drive home, everything was great…till I hit the deer.”
Only fitting that his brand new truck should match his brand new boat.