Sadly no horny ducks to report tonight. Dinner was late so the dance itself was only about two and half hours long, with another soul sucking endless dollar dance and one break to watch the fireworks outside. The real fun though came not from the guests but from my equipment. When I say “my” equipment I really mean Ryan’s equipment that I rent at an astronomical price for every job. Unloading it was not a problem this time, but getting it to function was. The CD players haven’t been taking kindly to the recent humidity. So every now and then they decide to skip, turning CD quality sound into something that sounds like my Dad’s vinyl collection. Alison Krause’s “When You Say Nothing At All” became “When You Sing Nothing At All”. Fortunately alcohol is the DJ’s best friend so anytime this happened I was able to fade into the next song unnoticed by the intoxicated guests.
The real fun equipment issue though was the light controller which has developed an interesting quirk. Every now and then when I touched it to adjust the lights, it would deliver an electric shock. Not every time, – no real pattern really but quite often enough to condition my fear, as if I was a DJ lab rat in some evil scientist’s experiment. On the plus side a DJ that lights up makes for a great pyro effect. I should really charge more for that next time.
*****
The story of the week goes to Ryan though. He did an outdoor wedding last night. At midnight the bride’s mom said she would pay him to play longer. He asked if he could change out of his tux. She said she didn’t care if he played naked. He damn near did, finishing the night wearing only shorts, sandals and the hair on his chest (which almost counts as a sweater). The real kicker though was when he went back to his vehicle to get his shorts and found a man and woman using his trailer for leverage. She was bent over and he was…how do I put this romantically…oh yes – drilling for oil. “Give me a minute” he asked Ryan.
Ryan said “Hey take your time.” Because a good DJ always makes sure the guests go home satisfied.