My bedroom is located directly above the garage. In this garage is Ryan’s truck. I’m sure at some point he went over with me in great detail how the engine works, with the carburetor running fuel through the flex capacitor to power the hyperdrive – what I know about cars could fit in the glove box of a Yugo. What I do know is the engine is loud. Real loud. It’s so loud it shakes my whole room. So when I’m in a dead sleep and one of his drunk friends decides to fire it up, it can be a little disorienting: “OH MY GOD IT’S THE BIG ONE!!!”. Earthquakes in Michigan are pretty common after all.
I’ve mentioned to Ryan a few hundred times that it’s generally not a good idea to mess with a narcoleptic’s sleep. If I played the “hide the insulin” game on my diabetic friend Mark, I doubt he would appreciate it. Ryan will always apologize and feel bad. However my girlfriend diagnosed him best as having “selective memory”.
So yesterday he bought a boat. A big boat. Parked right outside by bedroom window, it takes up the entire length of the driveway. He said it has the equivalent of two of his truck engines. I would have been happy to take his word for it. He decided though that the only way I could truly appreciate the hurricane force of his boat was with a demonstration. A demonstration at 5am this morning. I am impressed.