I was alarmed when a friend recently wrote complaining that by the end of the day, she was so overstimulated and tired that she could no longer use compound words. I am quite worried that she may not be alone and fear we may be looking a verbal epidemic.
Ironically it appears our fast paced lifestyles created by our advances in technology are actually regressing us to neanderthals. Our brains, constantly barraged with activity all day are unable to form bi-worded words, reducing us to grunt “Me want food”, “Cat go pee”, “Idol show bad”. What’s worse, if this phenomenon spreads globally, then Germany in particular will be crippled, no longer able to cram whole sentences into one word like “Damenoberkleidung”.
While there may be no hope for the Hessians, we can still take action here at home. I have compiled a list of compound words that will get one through almost any situation:
Foghorn
Dustbuster
Honeydew
Wolfman
Bellbottom
Slaphappy
Carpetbagger
Tapeworm
Moonbeam
Egghead
I would strongly suggest you keep this list on your possession at all times.