Had store credit and a new video game crying out to me (a sequel to a Star Wars game the effectively ruined my life a couple months ago) So, to justify buying it, I made a deal with myself. I will complete one writing assignment of my choice before I can play every night. Here was tonight’s:
REALLY REAL BAD OPENING LINES FOR A STORY
1. He had played drinking games before, but nothing quite prepared him for dodge the pitbull.
2. It’s not easy to follow your heart, especially when it’s in a ziplock bag somewhere across the border.
3. A cold cold wind spilled in through cracked opaque window of Jim’s wounded soul.
4. He gazed longingly into the dark smoldering eyes of the most beautiful chicken alive.
5. There once was a boy, two rabbits, a cabbage, a boiling pot and a can of lard.
6. Things were so much better back when gas was cheap and women knew their place.
7. Maybe once in a lifetime does someone experience that feeling the French probably have a name for.
8. “I challenge you to a duel,” he said, “my triangle versus your tambourine!”
9. “Well let’s see”, said Betty while looking at her watch, “yes that would work, but
should I bring grandma or leave her in the trunk?”
10. Tommy really really loved parades, but not as much as he loved peanut butter, which he loved slightly more than oatmeal cookies, but not nearly as much as he loved spankings.